Many, many moons ago, I used to work at a place where I was one of the two women of color that worked there. We shared the same height and both wore glasses. However, she had a lyrical southern accent while I had a "different" accent. She was a bit thicker than I was, had very short hair and glossy, sun-kissed cocoa brown skin. I had a bob and intermittently sunburnt caramel skin. We got confused for one another constantly by this particular group of co-workers. So, I started braiding my hair despite getting "advice" not to, thinking short hair vs braids should be easy enough.
And....we STILL got confused for one another! I couldn't understand it. I wasn't even angry, just extremely curious about how their brains worked.
That made me remember and understand what had happened a few years before - I had a Punjabi roommate. Beautiful, elegant and whip-smart. We lived in a very diverse community and everyone got along with one another. She had two friends, both Filipina, both of them in Med school with her. The Filipina girls looked so much alike (to me) that I thought they were sisters. They were not happy with me the day I told them they looked so much alike one could mistake them for sisters. They didn't think they looked anything alike! I still think they do, but I could tell them apart because as similar as they looked, each one of them had unique features, mannerisms, walk, voice tone and smile.
It took a while to earn enough points to stop getting side looks from my roommate and Filipina sisters. And their friends that hung out at the apartment. My statement pretty much erased all the camaraderie that we had built up to that point. They thought I was possibly racist. I felt awful and I have never made that sort of mistake again.
Now, imagine if I'd mistaken one for the other
No comments:
Post a Comment